Page 84 - Desire to Disaster

compassionate the nun is. What does she stand to gain
from me? Nothing! We had both been young and foolish.
She corrected her mistake and chose the ideal path to wash
off her sins. And she is striding confidently on the path of
liberation. Had she chosen to not help me, it would have
made no difference to her own spiritual progress. But she
has gone out of her way to help me get on to the right path.
How kind she is! How deep and spontaneous is her love and
compassion for my soul! How selfless and benevolent she is!
Now that I have met a learned saint like her, and know how
horribly I have suffered through my rebirths, why should I
hold back my efforts to wash off my sins.”

The elephant understood what he had to do and wasted no
time in taking up a life of self-control and penance. He began
practising chatta {fasting for two days} followed by chatta in
a continuous loop, with a break of one day where he would
eat food only once. Once his inner being had awakened, his
viveka {discernment} and svoddhāra {intense desire for self-
betterment} kicked in and he did not find any difficulty in
practising such a difficult penance.
Inner awakening (jāgruti), discernment (viveka) and the desire
for self-development (svoddhāra) are absolutely essential for
progress.

Difference between mana {the mind}, āśaya {intention} and
laganī {focus}

Look, here is one thing that you need to pay attention to.
Rupsen felt great joy when he beheld the beautiful face of
Sunanda. Even when he was reborn and ran into Sunanda,
glancing at her face gave him great joy. Birth after birth, he
would gaze at Sunanda’s face and feel immense joy. Even
when he was reborn as an elephant, he beheld Sunanda’s
fair countenance and felt great joy. This did not change after
he had experienced inner awakening. He still felt joy when

84 Desire to Disaster