Page 47 - JAIN ONLINE
P. 47

prepared  the  breakfast  and  then  she  was  wai ng  for  her                completely a racted to me. He would look and sit just before
        husband. 'He'll just arrive now.' But she saw no signs of his                  me! He would consider me his life! He would chant my name all
        coming. She got up and looked out from the window. She stood                   day long! Yeah! What next? No more thoughts. At the start of
        long wai ng. She was ge ng hungry then. She couldn't see her                   the morning, I won't have to ask his permission. Instead, he
        husband. So she went back and threw herself in the couch. She                  would  ask  permission  from  me,  take  my  advice  at  every
        was anxiously wai ng lying flat on the bed. Again, she got up,                  step...Wow! What great fun! My life would fly. What do other
        gazed out from the window 'Is he coming?'. But she didn't                      women know? Husband is controlled and conquered in this
        know  that  this  was  a  test.  Why  would  he  come  then?  Hot              way!’
        breakfast was cooling down. But Sundari was not ea ng, not                             She was building castles in the air. She assumed herself
        drinking. How can she eat? Thoughts arose in her mind, 'This is                to be a great queen and her husband as a poor black slave. She
        all my mistake...I myself squeezed the belly and created the                   didn't feel any shock in her heart in imagining her husband as a
        tummy ache. He was telling me to have the breakfast. I denied.                 bought slave rubbing his nose at her feet. How selfish thought
        But now what can be done? Now let me cook food for the noon                    process! 'My husband may be hungry. He must be in some
        lunch. Huh! breakfast and lunch will mix up together.' Thinking                trouble' She had no space for such thoughts! Only thoughts for
        so, she made ready the food.                                                   oneself 'I'm hungry, I would be looked with admira on and
               Even then there was no sight of the husband. Even then,                 adora on!'.  When  the  hunger  became  untolerable,  she
        she con nued staring. She roamed from couch to window and                      thought of ea ng up the food. But she felt a loss of respect in it.
        from  window  to  couch!  It  was  noon   me.  Soon  Sundari's                 Though,  that  too  was  just  her  imagina on,  even  then,  she
        hunger  increased  more  in  the  a ernoon.  Now  it  was                      con nued her starva on for this reason. But she didn't think,
        unbearable. She thought, 'What should I do? Should I've my                     "Isn't  my  husband  going  to  bear  the  hunger?  Then  why
        lunch? But...no...If I would have my meal and when he would                    shouldn't I do so?”
        come and tell me 'Now let us sit together for lunch.' then what                        Even  a erwards,  when  the  husband  would  see  her
        would I do? If he would know 'Oh, she has finished the meal                     hungry, he would get in complete control of her, he would
        and  filled  her  belly!'  Then  he  may  think,  'Her  chas ty  and            become  deeply  devoted.  In  such  pleasant  dreams,  she
        faithfulness towards the husband, has everything washed out?                   experienced extreme joy dancing in her heart! She forgot the
        Couldn't she bear even for a day? She is s cky to comforts and                 pain of hunger in this joy! In happy hopes of ge ng prowess
        luxuries.' So I won't have my meal. I'll endure. Even if he gets a             and  command  over  her  husband,  her  happiness  knew  no
        bit  late.  But  whenever  he  would  come  and  see  me  si ng                bounds! What is all this? Love for ones own importance and
        hungry all day. Then he would know me as totally devoted and                   privileges! My husband would get so very a racted to me, that
        would get completely surrendered to me. If anything is lacking                 I wouldn't have to follow his orders instead he would become
        in mesmerism of my husband, it will get fulfilled. He would get                 extremely obedient to me and I would throw orders on him.

         92                                                                              Selfish World                                                93
   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52