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prepared the breakfast and then she was wai ng for her completely a racted to me. He would look and sit just before
husband. 'He'll just arrive now.' But she saw no signs of his me! He would consider me his life! He would chant my name all
coming. She got up and looked out from the window. She stood day long! Yeah! What next? No more thoughts. At the start of
long wai ng. She was ge ng hungry then. She couldn't see her the morning, I won't have to ask his permission. Instead, he
husband. So she went back and threw herself in the couch. She would ask permission from me, take my advice at every
was anxiously wai ng lying flat on the bed. Again, she got up, step...Wow! What great fun! My life would fly. What do other
gazed out from the window 'Is he coming?'. But she didn't women know? Husband is controlled and conquered in this
know that this was a test. Why would he come then? Hot way!’
breakfast was cooling down. But Sundari was not ea ng, not She was building castles in the air. She assumed herself
drinking. How can she eat? Thoughts arose in her mind, 'This is to be a great queen and her husband as a poor black slave. She
all my mistake...I myself squeezed the belly and created the didn't feel any shock in her heart in imagining her husband as a
tummy ache. He was telling me to have the breakfast. I denied. bought slave rubbing his nose at her feet. How selfish thought
But now what can be done? Now let me cook food for the noon process! 'My husband may be hungry. He must be in some
lunch. Huh! breakfast and lunch will mix up together.' Thinking trouble' She had no space for such thoughts! Only thoughts for
so, she made ready the food. oneself 'I'm hungry, I would be looked with admira on and
Even then there was no sight of the husband. Even then, adora on!'. When the hunger became untolerable, she
she con nued staring. She roamed from couch to window and thought of ea ng up the food. But she felt a loss of respect in it.
from window to couch! It was noon me. Soon Sundari's Though, that too was just her imagina on, even then, she
hunger increased more in the a ernoon. Now it was con nued her starva on for this reason. But she didn't think,
unbearable. She thought, 'What should I do? Should I've my "Isn't my husband going to bear the hunger? Then why
lunch? But...no...If I would have my meal and when he would shouldn't I do so?”
come and tell me 'Now let us sit together for lunch.' then what Even a erwards, when the husband would see her
would I do? If he would know 'Oh, she has finished the meal hungry, he would get in complete control of her, he would
and filled her belly!' Then he may think, 'Her chas ty and become deeply devoted. In such pleasant dreams, she
faithfulness towards the husband, has everything washed out? experienced extreme joy dancing in her heart! She forgot the
Couldn't she bear even for a day? She is s cky to comforts and pain of hunger in this joy! In happy hopes of ge ng prowess
luxuries.' So I won't have my meal. I'll endure. Even if he gets a and command over her husband, her happiness knew no
bit late. But whenever he would come and see me si ng bounds! What is all this? Love for ones own importance and
hungry all day. Then he would know me as totally devoted and privileges! My husband would get so very a racted to me, that
would get completely surrendered to me. If anything is lacking I wouldn't have to follow his orders instead he would become
in mesmerism of my husband, it will get fulfilled. He would get extremely obedient to me and I would throw orders on him.
92 Selfish World 93

